Find Your Way
by Levena
Summary: At age 5 Sonya is sucked away from her life in Zanarkand to start a completely different one in a completely different land: Spira. Ten years later her cousin, Tidus, shows up and her second life changing journey begins...


Some memories, I think, aren't meant to be remembered. Is it sometimes best to forget things? 'Memories are nice, but that's all they are.' A friend told me that once, a long time ago. I tried to live by that. It got hard sometimes, but I managed. I lived the words as if they could change the past…or the future. Eventually I got to thinking, though. When does the past become the present, or the future become the past? When do the past and future blend together, and when does the line that is the present separate them?

Memories.

Does a memory disappear when no one is left to remember it?

If so, why am I still here?

I don't remember a lot about when I was little. I remember a huge city, where the buildings rose to meet the starry sky, and the streets never quieted. I remember I had a family. A mother…a father…my uncle was famous. I remember that much. He used to entertain me, show me tricks and things that made me laugh…I remember he had a son. He must have had a wife, too, but I don't remember much about her. Tidus. That as the boy's name. We used to play sometimes. He was older than me…but he acted like my brother. He used to complain about his father, though I don't know why. I was too young to care for such things, too young to understand pain.

Maybe that's why I was so shocked when it forced itself upon me.

How much do I remember of that day? Less than I should…though more than I would like. I've tried to tell myself so many times that it wasn't real, that it was all a dream, like people said. That I really was crazy like the other children always whispered to one another behind my back. I've tried to tell myself that so many times. But how many lies can your heart hold?

Zanarkand was the place I was born. The city, I mean. Not the ruins that now lay there. I lived there with my family. My memories of that time are fuzzy…blurred and twisted as though when I revisit them I'm walking through a fog. I remember my mother with her sweet smile and her warm lap I used to crawl into when I needed arms wrapped around me, and my father with his stories that made me giggle and smile, and sometimes cry. I remember when they took me to the ocean one day when I was five. "Your uncle Jecht is taking us on a boat ride," my mother said, smiling as we boarded the ship. I remember laughing as I waved goodbye to the land, excited about going on my first boat ride, and leaning over the railing to watch the ocean swirl around the ship.

Jecht showed us blitzball moves and tricks as we sped out to sea, and we cheered and clapped. He even tried to teach me how to do one. He laughed as I fell on my rear, but then picked me up and told me I had promise. That made me proud. He was still holding me when the boat suddenly lurched. I clung to him, looking around to see what the matter was. I saw nothing but ocean. Then a wave rose out of the water, right next to the boat. I felt a hand on my back and my mother was there, helping her brother keep a hold on me. My father was running to help the crew steady the ship.

I watched with a fascinated horror as I saw that it wasn't a wave at all; it was a fin. The water broke around the fin as a tail rose out of the water near the bow of the ship. I remember the creature's enormous size as it rose into the air, surrounded by water. My mother screamed and everyone else just stood there, stunned. The stun was broken by a large cry, almost a moan, from the creature, and smaller creatures flew off of its back and onto our ship. I was told later they were called fiends. They unfolded their flashing wings and began to attack. I tried to close my ears to the screams of the crew, but their cries still ring in my mind to this day.

One of the fiends came at us, and Jecht quickly handed me to my mother, grabbing his blitzball, telling us to run and hide. My mother turned and fled, me watching Jecht fight the creatures from over her shoulder. Waves crashed over the sides of the ship, the sea angry, trying to drag us into the sea. The giant monster came down on us, the wind growing as the fiends picked off the crew members, leaving their bodies scattered on the deck.

Suddenly Jecht came up behind us and grabbed my mother's shoulders. "We have to get out of here," he said, pushing her forward towards a lifeboat. I clung to my mother and buried my face in her shirt. I remember my cheeks made it wet, though from the sea water or my tears, I'll never know.

Someone shouted a warning in our direction. I looked up and saw one of the fiends looking at us, its flashing wings spanned out, spines on the end flashing. Before I knew what was happening, it shot the spines at us. One grazed across my back. The other caught my cheek under my eye. I was lucky I wasn't blinded, or killed. My mother had no such fortune. She fell to the ground, limp, and before I got a chance to see what was wrong Jecht had scooped me up, holding me to his chest. My cheek was bleeding, but I didn't feel the pain from the wound. We were running down the deck. Not towards the lifeboat, it had been destroyed, but towards the bow. I suppose my uncle's thoughts were just to get us out off the boat and away from the nightmare.

I looked over his shoulder and saw where my mother lay. She had a spine sticking out of her neck. My father lay motionless a little farther off. Terrified, I looked ahead of us. The monster was hovering above the ship, its very skin seeming to churn. Jecht and I made it to the bow, and he jumped over the railing and into the water. I don't quite know what happened then. I saw the creature come towards us and sink into the water above us before we had a chance to surface. Then everything got blurry, and I felt lightheaded. There was a bright light and I felt Jecht get pulled away from me, and I struggled to stay near him. I closed my eyes and saw a boy in a purple vest in my mind. A hood covered his face. I suppose that was a dream, or a hallucination. The only thing I know for sure is that the boy was the last thing I saw before the blackness.

I woke up in a small room. It took me a moment to remember all that had happened, but when the pain came rushing back I wish I hadn't remembered at all. My back and head hurt, though everywhere was sore. I looked around, looking for Jecht, but he wasn't there with me. I tried to sit up but my head swam and I fell back again, moaning.

Someone must have heard me because a moment later a girl came into the room with a wet cloth, which she put on my forehead. She was wearing strange clothing and her long black hair was pulled back into a braid. She looked about eleven or twelve, and her nails were painted black to match her dress. 'Hold still' she said as I tried to sit up again, and she gently pushed me back down, pulling blankets over me. 'Do you remember what happened?' she asked.

I didn't know what to tell her. A giant monster that just rising from the sea? It sounded strange…but it was all I could say. I was too tired to try to lie, or make up a story. What would be the point, anyway? So I told her. To my surprise her face didn't change as I told her my story, and she nodded gravely.

"Sin, just as I suspected. Thank Yevon you made it out alive…where did you say you came from?" she asked, whipping my cheek where the cut was. I winced, then answered.

"I'm from Zanarkand" I said, looking around. "Where am I now?"

She frowned at me and tilted her head slightly, studying me as if I had said something weird. It didn't cross my mind that maybe I had. After a moment she seemed to make up her mind about something, and then told me I was on the coast of Besaid. I asked her where that was and she looked surprised again, then took the cloth off my brow and felt it with the back of her hand. She didn't answer my question. Instead she said, "You'll be better soon, don't worry."

I nodded as she smiled a little, then I let my head drop away from her as I felt my chin start to quiver and my eyes grow blurry with tears. I didn't want her to see me like that. I could feel her looking at me, but I didn't care. I sobbed until my eyes went dry and even then I shook violently, sniffling.

Finally I turned back to her and saw that she was looking at me with a sad gaze with her red eyes. I whipped my wet cheeks with the back of my hand, wincing as the salt water stung my cut. "What?" I said, slightly angered by the way she was looking at me, but as I watched she shook her head and smiled, smoothing my hair gently.

I remember feeling calmed by that. It was like what my mother used to do. "Nothing," she said, and then sat down on the bed beside me, "what's your name?" I sniffed, whipping away the last of my tears, and sat up, happy when she didn't push me back down. "I'm Sonya," I said, "what about you?"

The girl smiled at me. "I'm Lulu. It's nice to meet you, Sonya."

After that I suppose I fell asleep. I have no idea what time of day it had been when all of that occurred, so I don't know how long I was out. When I woke up, though, sun was shining through a cloth door that was the entrance to the hut I was in. I looked around the small space, finding just enough possessions for someone to live off of. There was a chest, probably for clothes, a small table and chair, and a bed. A rug was on the floor, and the hut was made entirely out of cloth. Altogether it had a nice, cozy feeling.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed, feeling a little stronger than before. I could hear children playing outside…there were teasing shouts and yells and something hit the side of the hut. Then I heard a girl scolding someone, and I had to smile. I gently scooted off the bed, my small feet enjoying the feel of the carpet underneath them, and opened the door. At first I couldn't see anything because of the light that came in, having been in the dark hut, but once my eyes adjusted they grew wide in surprise.

What had I expected to see? Not this. As I looked around I saw a small courtyard in the middle of a group of huts like the one I was in. A yellow, almost glowing circle was in the middle of the courtyard, though the rest was dirt and grass. There where some children playing there, two boys and Lulu. Well I suppose I should say the boys were playing. Lulu was watching almost disapprovingly. The biggest thing that caught my eye, though, was the blitzball was playing with. Well, that is, before I saw the temple.

It stood at the end of the courtyard, its walls made of grey stone, a walkway with pillars on either side leading to the main entrance. There where torches in the very front, and steps leading up to it. I was almost afraid to look at it; it was so unlike anything I had ever seen on Zanarkand.

My awe got interrupted when the blitzball in the face. I turned to look at who threw it and saw the taller of the boys running over to me. "Sorry 'bout that!" he yelled, his voice holding a laid-back accent. He wore a blue shirt and a yellow jumper, his hair was orange and his skin was a dark tan, as though he was out in the sun a lot. He looked a few years older than Lulu, though I couldn't exactly tell.

I bent down and picked up the ball, throwing it to him and giggling as he missed. Instead of going after it, though, he came up to me. "You must be that new girl Lu was tellin' us about! Gave us quite a scare, thought you wouldn't make it. But you pulled though, ya?" he laughed and held out his hand. "Da name's Wakka."

I hesitated a moment before shaking his hand. He towered up over me, and I felt suddenly small compared to the others…young. And alone. Lulu walked over to us, followed by the other boy I saw before. "I see you two have met…Wakka, please refrain from hitting the poor girl. She's been through enough as it is…" Lulu smiled at me and put a hand on my head and I smiled.

The other boy laughed. He looked a lot like Wakka, only slightly younger. I thought he was probably around Lulu's age. "Sorry Lu, my fault. It was a bad pass." He looked at her and winked, grinning, and then looked at me. "I'm Chappu. You alright?"

I nodded, wide-eyed at the new faces; it was all pretty overwhelming. "Sonya's going to be staying with us. We'll be taking care of her, so you two have to be more mature. Got it?" Lulu said after getting over a slight blush at Chappu's wink. The boys nodded.

"We'll take care of her, ya? Don't you worry 'bout a thing," Wakka said.

Chappu laughed again. "Don't sound so uptight, Lu! We did a fine job raisin' ourselves, ya?" he said, and Wakka laughed. Lulu put her forehead in her hand and shook her head. I felt safe.


End file.
